She says: The Beauty Behind a Struggle

Once in a while, I feel a nudge in my heart to write in my blog. Deep down I know that is what I’m supposed to do; to write and share my thoughts, and hopefully inspire someone out there who might be going through the same doubt, problem or excitement. But I often ignore that little nudge and let it die before it materialised. Even if I did start the initial writing, the posts remain as drafts and never get published. As of now, I have 21 posts in my Drafts (I’m making sure this is not gonna be the 22nd draft!)

If you have been following my blog since its inception in 2009, you’d probably aware that I used to share a lot of insights, be it regarding my wedding preparation (which was an exciting process!), personal struggles or random thoughts. Yes, I blogged whenever I have a strong opinion. It’s not because I think people will read and agree with me but simply to release the emotions I harboured on those topics. However, after a while this blog evolved into something bigger that what I could imagine. When I started writing “She Says” and “He Says” blog posts, it became a springboard to finding my destiny. Unfortunately, it also halt my calling, the calling to inspire. Sometimes when you are busy chasing your dreams, you forget what you are holding to and it slipped unconsciously.

So this is me, trying to pick up where I left off.

As you might know, I run Rosette Designs & Co together with a wonderful team of planners, designers, coordinators, decorators, florists and an amazing project manager that ties everything together. If you look at our beautiful website, it wouldn’t have been complete without her. She’s a talented and capable young lady with big dreams and aspiration.

We received lots of job applications from people (mostly girls) looking for opportunity to work in this seemingly beautiful industry where you only work with pretty things. Some of them comes with impressive background and credentials. We received an application from an Associate in Law Firm and she’s willing to start as assistant to gain foot in this industry. She mentioned how event & wedding planning have always been her passion, but her parents pressured her into reading law because it is prestigious and they believed she can make a lot of money as lawyer and that will eventually make her happy. Guess what, it didn’t. I know she is not the only one with such a story.

Stories like hers knock on our door and meet us, quite frequently. It was also how our lovely project manager started her walk with us. 2 years ago, I received a very long email from a girl with passion and dreams that moved my heart. So I offered her to join our team as a part timer. A year later, Rosette were growing and we had an opening for a full-time hire and that’s when I decided to hire her full time, which (I hope) translated into her dreams coming true.

I wished the story ends there.

While storybook often opens with Once Upon A Time and ends with “Happily Ever After”, life goes on. In the next chapter, we penned down beautiful weddings & great stories. After all weddings is no easy feat. It’s a massive event, one of the most important days in one’s life! And we do weddings every week, often more than one wedding in a weekend. After awhile, it gets down to the mundane and the struggles. The reality of this industry remains, it is not as pretty as it looks. You will never know it, from the outside looking in. You have to step in and know it for yourselves.

Maybe I’m guilty too, to present a facade that’s so Pinterest-worthy it trickled a desire to be part of it. Borrowing her quote from her first heartwarming intro email :

“I don’t want to drift through my weekdays waiting for the weekends and then feel lazy on the weekends not doing anything. I need to feel motivated to accomplish a project which I can feel proud of that I’ve put in 100% of my effort and feel all my time is worth it. Ultimately, if I don’t write to you, I will be no where but sitting behind a screen and constantly thinking and always be waiting, waiting for a miracle that will never happen.”

Eventually, she did put her best effort and made her time worth it. She’s the best help I could ever asked for. In fact, she’s an answer to my prayer. I was at my wits end, trying to juggle never-ending work from Rosette and life as mother with a newborn second child. It was madness! Lying on the bed at 3 am, the pressure of the anxiety overwhelmed me. How am I going to cope with these? and I heard a gentle voice in my heart (which I believe it was the Holy Spirit according to my faith) to hire the girl and I did. She is the grace that I need for the season.

Which brought me to the reason why I wrote this post.

I am still struggling at being a mother of two and managing Rosette. My second child, Aiden, is at the age where he requires a lot of attention in food and health aspect. As cute as he is, he is sometimes overbearing and clingy, a little too much. I couldn’t focus on my work when he’s around because all he wants in life, is his mommy. To be completely honest with you, we didn’t planned to have a second child this early. Not 19 months after the whole drama-trauma of having a 1.125 kg preemie baby girl, who is thankfully now a very healthy, magnificent artist in-the-making@3 years old. So I continue to struggle, in my thoughts. I could go on and talk about the struggles of handling three different persons in my life (Sava, Aiden & Rosette) which are all in its infancy stage.

Then sitting here at 3am after a round of breastfeeding, I asked God to change my perspective. I’ve heard enough sermons about enjoying whatever season I’m in, be it spring or winter, because spring is always comes after winter. I believed that, but I still struggles with this question; How do I see Beauty behind a Struggle?

Then I started penning down my thoughts in a blog post. Something that I know I should do but ignored it for years. In fact, this blog is the very thing that inspired people to join us. This is my vision of Rosette Designs & Co from the beginning. To inspire people to chase after their dream and build a platform that could leverage on people’s love for DIY-craft, styling and help them make a living out of it. I have always been inspired by IKEA and its philosophy that everyone deserves a good design and product that doesn’t cost them arm and leg. That’s what I want Rosette Designs & Co do be able to do, creating pretty party for everyone.

I almost forget about that vision, and it cost me my grace for that season. But thank God for a second chance.

So how do you find Beauty Behind a Struggle? By changing the way we look at our problems and see perhaps there’s something bigger. Struggles might be there to remind or redirect us to the right track. Our struggles can be like a diamond wrapped in an old beat-up newspaper wrapped box. At first glance you wouldn’t want it, but once you persevere through and unwrapped the struggles you’ll find something beautiful emerging from the inside.

Beauty Behind Struggles

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